Bad Day - Good Meter Maid
by chaann
Summary: AU - Deidara is just having the WORST day. Now he's getting a ticket? What could he possibly do to get that nasty thing torn up? Sasodei/Yaoi/Oneshot
Today officially sucked. Not only had Deidara been dumped by his long time boyfriend via text because the asshole was cheating on him with a friend, he now just got demoted. DEMOTED. Like, the total opposite of PROMOTED which is the good thing. Now he'd not only be making less money which was a hassle since he already was having financial trouble as it is, but he also had to deal of the humiliation of everyone at work knowing - secretly thinking the worst of the worst of what he could have done to be demoted.

Man - things could not get any worse!

"Who's that standing by my car..." Deidara grumbled as he struggled to carry his knew heavy workload home. In the ever darkening night of course.

Thank you new longer hours!

As the figured shifted their footing, Deidara could feel the colour drain from his face. He knew exactly what the hell It was. Not who. It.

"Oh shit! It's a meter maid, un!" He hissed, shuffling around the boxes to run to the man who appeared to be writing him a ticket. "Waaait! I'm here, I'm here! I beg of you, please don't write me a ticket, un!"

Without looking up, the man sighed. It's not like he hasn't heard THAT for the hundredth time today. Sighing he looked up, fingers hovering over the electronic device that produced the tickets. He always love to hear the person grovel before the ticket would print. And this person looked like he had one whopper of an excuse.

Deidara panted as he hid behind the boxes, "P-please! You can't give me that ticket, un. My boyfriend just text message broke up with me, leaving me after cheating with my bestfriend, a-and I just got demoted because my boss hit on me and I said no and now he's totally... this i-isn't fair!" he finally broke down into a wailing cry, "I'm a g-good p-p-person, un! Why are bad things happening to me!"

Sighing the meter maid grabbed the heavy boxes from the sobbing males hands and put them on the ground. This guy needed to chill.

Deidara's hands didn't care that the box was taken as he let his arms simply hang at his sides with a flop. Why would he care if a stranger saw him cry like this? It's just be another nail into ego after all.

"Now now stop crying." The meter maid groaned, now crossing his arms. "It's unfitting for someone so pretty to cry like this."

"Unnn! And now I'm being hit on by a frickin' meter maid!"

The meter maid rolled his eyes before whipping out a small packet of tissues from his pants pocket. "Saying shit like that may not be the right way to get this ticket torn up."

Blinking away the tears, that caught his ears. "Y-you can actually tear up tickets?"

"No."

"Unnn! But I can't afford it!"

The meter maid glanced down at the nearly completed ticket and then back at the blond. Suddenly a devious idea struck him, "You're real cute y'know that?"

"Huh?"

"And what was that about you no longer having a boyfriend?"

Deidara held onto the strap of his shoulder bag. Something told him he did NOT like where this redhead was going with this conversation. He could already tell it wasn't going to end very well for him.

Just like that talk with his boss before he got demoted.

Licking his lips, the meter maid ate up Deidara's appearance, making it more than obvious as he did so. "Listen up blondie, let's say you do me a favor and I do you a favor where I bend the rules and dispose of this ticket."

Deidara furrowed his brows at that remark, "I thought you couldn't tear them up... And the names Deidara, not blondie!"

The meter maid snickered, holding his hands up in defense, "Okay Deidara... It's not that I can't, or the word you used was, couldn't. It's rather I shouldn't." He explained, waving the ticket around. "But for you I COULD be able to bend the rules. Just for you though."

Looking around the empty street, Deidara swallowed hard, "What exactly do you want, un?"

"Suck me off in the back seat of your car."

Heat immediately flared into Deidara's face. Was this guy serious? This was a total abuse of power! This actually attractive guys was offering to tear up the twenty dollar ticket, all for a blowjob?

Were they actually worth only that much on the street market these days?

Deidara chewed his bottom as he weighed his options. Pay the ticket with money he didn't have or be humiliated by sucking off some strangers dick. Again, at least this guy wasn't bad looking. In fact, he was a shit ton more attractive than his boyfrien- ahem, EX boyfriend.

"So if I give you a blowjob... right now... in my car... you'll tear up that ticket, un?"

Flashing his pearly whites the redhead nodded, "Absolutely."

Opening his car, Deidara went to put the boxes into the front passengers seat but was stopped when the metre maid stepped in, picking the heavy load up for him. That was a pretty nice gesture. In fact, giving the blond a way out of the ticket was a nice one too. Even if it was incredibly degrading and overwhelmingly disgusting.

After climbing into the backseat together, Deidara looked around nervously, "Is it okay to do this? Like, isn't this illegal or something, un?"

Weren't hotels usually involved in these sort of interactions?

Tilting his head side to side as he unzipped his pants, the other male hummed in thought, "I think so, so we better not get caught. But hey, it makes things more exciting don't you think?"

Sliding down to the small space of the car floor Deidara muttered bitterly to himself. What was this guys problem!? Wasn't he on Team Police or something? Getting a thrill off of something illegal now, isn't that just a bit odd?

Pulling down the front of the meter maids undergarments Deidara was greeted with an already semi-hard erection. "My goodness... Someone's excited." He joked as he gently started to stroke the shockingly rather long member, actually excited to see just how much more it would grow.

This guy had it all apparently.

Minus a well looked upon job.

Sighing at the pleasurable sensation, the man could only nod as he watched the blond stroke him. "Yeah, the moment I caught sight of your stunning beauty, there began a storm brewing down." He groaned the end as he rolled his hips once.

Deidara's face grew hot at the what could possibly be considered a compliment. "Gee, thanks." He grumbled. "By the way - "

"By the way when you suck it I want you to moan, 'Sasori'."

Cocking a brow, Deidara slowly licked up the member, holding onto it by the tip. "Sasori?" He then asked as he finished it, swirling his finger around the head of it.

"Yes. That's my name. While you suck I demand that you to moan my name." The meter maid now known as Sasori stated in a firm, gravely voice.

Deidara giggled at the strict and firm voice. This guy must be a S&M enthusiast as he sure liked to be in complete control. Too bad the thought of S&M was a complete joke to him.

"Pfft yeah..." Deidara giggled some more as he wrapped his lips around the length of Sasori's dick. "Whatever you shay, hehe, Sasori-danna, un."

Reaching foreword Sasori grabbed at the back of Deidara's head, tugging at the blond hair and pushing him closer towards his crotch. He snickered himself as he watched the cheeky brat's tongue continue to lick and lips smack around his length. "You know I rather like that title..." He groaned out with a breathy moan. "Keep it up."

Deidara simply rolled his eyes before pulling away from being so close to the penis. One can only do so much in such a confined space after all.

"Yeah, I can see that you like it, un." Deidara noted as he pushed the foreskin down exposing the head and opening his mouth to finally go down.

Using one hand to hold his hair back and the other the pump the extra dick that would slip from the inside if his mouth, Deidara sucked hard letting his cheeks hollow shamelessly. As soon as this guy came, the sooner it would be over and he could go home and treat himself to something sweet like chocolate.

Chocolate solves everything after all.

"Ugh, Deidara that's good..." Sasori moaned again, lulling his head around momentarily. "Not only did your idiot of a boyfriend leave such a gorgeous face, but he also left such a skilled mouth."

Not one to want to be reminded about his ex boyfriends cruel infedelity, Deidara pulled away with a harsh and quick pop. "Hey listen here, you; I'm only here to suck your dick so that ticket goes away. I don't wanna hear any shit about the rest of the shit that happened today, un." He growled, going back to a handjob like a form of punishment.

Sasori still bucked his hips into the blonds hand. Mouth, hand; it was all good! This kid had some skill and it showed.

"Fine fine..." He waved his one hand in defense, "just thought you'd want to hear a compliment or two. Or..." he smacked his lips as he gazed lustfully down at Deidara, "at least the honest truth."

Deidara couldn't help but turn more pink.

"Just shut up and fucking cum already." He grumbled as he prepared to put the member back into his the back of his mouth.

Sasori continued to moan and tug at Deidara's hair as he slowly rolled his hips, careful not to tug too hard or gag the blond. He didn't want to make the boy any more angry than he already was. Or gag him. Poor thing already had such a harsh day! If only he could feel any real sympathy.

Deidara pulled his mouth back this time and focused his lips and tongue at the head while his hand continued to pump the base. Man could this guy last a long time. Much longer than his ex. In fact this guy was a lot kinder, and he really had to face it now that it was at it's full girth; this dick was a lot more impressive.

"You've got a lot of saliva don't you?" Sasori noted, breathing heavy. "Or is it perhaps you're just drooling over my immaculate dick?"

Deidara closed his lips around the tip and sucked as he glared up at the redhead. Sure this guy was more kind, but that didn't mean he still wasn't a jackass!

"Just hurry up... and cum, dammit!"

"Ah ah ah~"

Growling Deidara rolled his eyes before sticking the member back into his mouth, stuffing it into his cheek. "Pleashe Shashori-danna! Cum in my mouf, un!" He pleaded, batting his eyelashes and flaunting his pretty blue eyes.

In an instant Deidara was greeted with a mouthful of the metre maid's semen which sent him back, gagging. In all honesty, he didn't expect the man to just cum like that on request!

Reaching around his car, Deidara yanked out a box of tissues and used one to spit the semen out. Like hell he was swallowing the strangers cum. Sucking his dick was bad enough!

"Tsk tsk, and here I thought I could tear that ticket up."

Deidara looked at the other man with wide eyes. "E-excuse me?"

"You didn't swallow it. Only boys who swallow get their tickets torn."

Left speechless, Deidara was stationary for a moment. He - he couldn't believe this guy! "You never specified that I had to swallow, un!" He cried as he looked down at the crumpled tissue of semen with ultimate regret.

Sasori tilted his head, almost as if he was offended he got yelled at. "I thought it was implied."

"N-no way... I don't have to do this again now, do I?"

Grabbing another tissue, Sasori used it to wipe at a smear of his cum that had streaked across the younger males face. "Well yes..."

"Nooo!" Deidara whined, collapsing his head against the leg near his face. He could NOT go through with this senseless hell again!

"However I could give you an alternative."

Grumbling Deidara almost didn't want to hear what the alternative could possibly be. "Oh yeah? And what's the alternative?" He finally asked after a moment of pouting, already expecting the worst.

Like his coworkers had done with him earlier in the day.

"Give me your number."

Deidara blinked, "What?"

"Give me your phone number. I would love to take you out on a date some time." Sasori repeated but this time explaining it a bit more. Unfortunately for him the blond was left speechless in either shock or confusion meaning he'd have to delve in a little further.

"Well you said that you had such a terrible day." Sasori chuckled, "Go out with me, let's say this Saturday night. For such a hard week, you deserve something nice for once."

Deidara couldn't help but gape at this guy. "Who the hell are you, un?"

Reaching foreword, Sasori took advantage of an aloof boy and swiped his cellphone from his pocket. "There! Now you have my number and..." Texting a number into Deidara's phone another one went off in the breast pocket of his uniform shirt. "Now I have yours!"

"Wait wait wait - you still didn't answer me!"

Smirking Sasori shook his head before kissing Deidara on the forehead. "I recently got a job as the art teacher one of the local highschools, but since it's summer; I had to go back to the job that put me through university."

"Ah..."

"We can talk more over dinner, yes?"

Sliding up off the floor the seat beside Sasori, Deidara rubbed his head still a bit confused at the situation. This day started off terrible and just kept getting worse. Now a hot art teacher wanted to take him out for dinner?

"Uh..duh..." Deidara giggled nervously as he hid behind his hair. "Yeah I'll totally see you this Saturday, un."

Sasori hopped out of the vehicle with a wide smile. Leaning back into the doorframe as Deidara went to crawl out, he pecked him on the lips this time. "Okay, I'll text you."

"Duhh... Okay..." Deidara somehow managed to squeak out in a slurred tone, still unable to believe his great luck.

"So I'll hopefully see you tomorrow evening."

"Yeah..." Deidara sighed, still dreaming. Then something occurred to him. "Hey wait! So are you tearing up that ticket now or after the date?"

Sasori quirked an eyebrow at this before laughing into his hand, "Oh right, there was no ticket in the first place." He stated as he walked up to the car parked right in front of the blond's. "I saw you this morning when I started my route and decided to keep an eye out and wait around till you came back - just so I could talk to you. To be honest you showed up just before your parking meter was about to expire."

"What the hell!" Deidara now yelled, leaping out from the back seat of his own car. "You jackass!"

"Yeah! And just wait until you get to know me on our date tomorrow!" Sasori waved off as he hopped into his car.

Augh!

That whole backseat ordeal had to have been one of the single most humiliating thing that had ever happened to him in his life! And it was all for nothing! It did make his day feel a lot better at the end though, that is until he found out the guy was a lying bastard.

Besides.

"Oh I just can't stay mad..." He groaned as he leaned on his car to watch the black car speed off. Growling into his curled fist he smiled, cheeks growing pink yet again. "Who knew after such a shitty day, a damn meter maid would brighten it up, un!"

* * *

I didn't proof read sorry not sorry. my bad tho cause I promised smut so many times but I didn't deliver. Well here it is now SO BYE LOSERS !

**edit: I gave it a quick proof all mistakes should be fixed.


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